with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
