Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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