He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just had sex bonerless
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
