I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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