Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
