I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
