i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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