New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
