I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize