My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
