If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
my liver is dry heaving
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
