And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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