He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize