ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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