Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
so explain again why im purple
no
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
