Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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