I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
