i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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