Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
