Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
