we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She's the barista slut.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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