My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize