She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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