After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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