sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
