I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
