remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
