please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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