It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
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