I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Randomize