He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
