You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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