"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
