dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
