youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Welp...herpes.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize