I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
