Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she peed on how many people?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
