Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
