I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
