bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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