I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
