doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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