3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
