so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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