: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Can i not drive my cunt home
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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