i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
