you would pick up someone in the library
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
