im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
