Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
