Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
