How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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