Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
