I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
