So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
