Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize