so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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