Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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