check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I cannot find my penis.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
