Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
