they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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